A Separate Peace: The Legalization of Same                             Sex Marriage is Still Undecided in New York

by Erin Quinn
First published by New Paltz Times on 2-14-2006

We are quickly approaching the two year anniversary of the now infamous gay weddings— All twenty-five of them— that were performed by New Paltz Mayor Jason West outside of Village Hall on February 27^th, 2004. The event galvanized world-wide attention, flowers, cheers, protests, equal rights proclamations, biblical slogans, TV crews, journalists from far and wide and subsequently a year and a half legal battle, both criminal and civil for Mayor West.

So, where are we now? District Attorney Don Williams, after a year and a half of prosecution, decided last August not to go fourth with the criminal prosecution against Mayor West [for 24 misdemeanor counts of allegedly violating the New York State Domestic Relations Law by marrying same-sex couples without a valid New York Sate License application.]

The decision came only a month before the prosecution was scheduled to go to trial in front of New Paltz Justice Jonathon Katz, who had originally thrown out the case based on constitutional grounds. The DA had successfully appealed that case and the charges were reinstated by Supreme Court Justice Michael Bruhn on February 2, 2005 West and his defense made a plea to the New York State Court of Appeals, but were unsuccessful in having their case heard. The next step was a trial before West’s peers, something that never happened as the DA decided not to go any further with the prosecution.

The marriages performed by Mayor West and then by Unitarian Ministers Kay Greenleaf and Dawn Sangrey and ultimately by dozens of other Unitarian Ministers once West, Greenleaf and Sangrey were prohibited by Supreme Court Justice Michael Kavanaugh from performing any more same-sex marriages, are still not considered to be legally binding by the State of New York.

That said, a member of West’s defense team, Andrew Kossover, a New Paltz-based attorney, now the Public Defender for Ulster County said that the Mayor’s decision to marry same-sex couples and subsequent arrest, “helped galvanize a national movement for marriage equality. All of the marriages and the publicity surrounding them raised people’s dialogue and consciousness and helped them to crystallize their view of same-sex marriage.”   

Mayor Jason West, his civil-rights attorneys, and gay rights supporters are anxiously awaiting a decision by the State Court of Appeals on another case as to whether or not New York State’s Health Department’s regulations, which prohibit same-sex couples from applying and receiving marriage licenses, is a violation of the New York State Constititution which promises equal protection under the law for all citizens regardless of race, creed and gender.

“The big question is how the Court of Appeals will rule,” said West. “But it is unfortunate that all of the rhetoric coming from the DA’s office, Judge Bruhn, Judge Kavanaugh and Judge Bradley about the need for the State Legislature to address this issue has resulted in deafening silence from Albany. State Legislators, both Democrats and Republicans, are letting gay couples all over the state twist in the wind waiting for judges to make decisions. The State Legislature is too cowardly and to complacent to deal with this very serious issue as well as many other issues. That is why people like myself and Kay Greenleaf and Dawn Sangrey were forced to pick up the slack and act, honoring the Constitution which does allow for same-sex marriages. No argument has persuaded me that our Constitution does not allow for same-sex marriages.”

West also adds that the prejudice and inequality that gay citizens have suffered for years is no different today than it was years ago. “But what is different is that myself, civil rights organizers, constitutional attorneys, Judges like Supreme Court Justice Doris Ling-Cohan of Manhattan are saying that they do have the right under the law and under our Constitution to have the same rights and privileges bestowed by the institituion of marriage as their heterosexual counterparts do. But people like Elliot Spitzer, say they don’t and then Albany legislators just sit back and do nothing. They can’t even pass a budget on time.”

Even District Attorney, Don Williams, agrees that the constitutional issues surrounding gay marriage need to be dealt with immediately. “The Mayor and his group of supporters and the couples that were married succeeded in bringing this issue to the forefront,” said Williams. “I still concur with the decisions of State Supreme Court Judge Michael Kavanaugh and Judge Michael Bruhn, that public officials should not allow their personal opinions, albeit honest opinions, to justify violating the law and becoming a law onto themselves. There are legal remedies to address this very important issue that needs to be addressed by the State Legislature, Congress and the higher courts as quickly as possible.”

That said, the DA went on to add that, “There are immediate and critical constitutional issues surrounding gay marriages and gay unions that need to be addressed. It is a deeply dividing issue and is something that is impacts far too many good people.”

Kossover concurs. “Two things need to happen,” he mused. “Either the New York State Legislature needs to become involved, or New York’s highest court, the Court of Appeals needs to make a determination that the current regulations and directives of issuances of marriage licenses constitute discrimination.”     

Kossover also concurs with Mayor West that the New York Constitution is gender-neutral and thus the directives of the New York State Department of Health, which deny same-sex couples marriage applications and licenses, is in violation of the Constitution.

“Even Attorney General Elliot Spitzer’s opinion on this issue concedes, when referencing the New York State Constitution, that there is ambiguity and that the issue [of gay-marriage] is subject to interpretation.”

The legalization of gay marriage in Massassachusettes is nearing a second year anniversary as well. Last year Connecticut approved civil unions and Vermont has allowed civil unions for years. However, the State of Virginia recently joined the growing roster of states banning same-sex marriages. Today, February 15^th, the New Jersey Courts are weighing in on the matter.

“History can not be turned backwards,” mused longtime activist and spokesperson for the New Paltz Pride March, Jay Blotcher, also one of the twenty-five couples [with partner Brook Garrett] to be married by Mayor West two years ago. “Marriage equality will not go away. It will succeed.”

While many of the couples, like Blotcher and Garrett, married by Mayor West and the Unitarian Ministers are enjoying their marital bliss, regardless of New York State’s turning a blind eye on their unions, the most visual couple of the same-sex marriage movement in New Paltz—Billiam Van Roestenburg and Jeffrey McGowan, have recently separated, after eight years together.

Roestenburg and McGowan were the first couple to be married by West and worked with him closely on the preparation for his stand on this civil rights issue prior to February 27^th. The image of them being married by West, surrounded by hundreds of supporters and a fist held high by Van Roestenburg is the clip used by CNN and other major TV Networks whenever a discussion of same-sex marriage airs.

They were, in a sense, the local Brad and Jen of the New Paltz same-sex equality movement. McGowan, a retired Major in the Army, a decorated war hero from the first Gulf War and the author of the recently published book, “Major Conflict: One’s Gay Man’s Life in the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Army [Broadway Books 2005] not only serves as a spokesman for marriage equality but for the eradication of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell [DADT] military policy and the inclusion of gay men and women in the Armed Forces.

“Unfortunately, like many relationships, ours has come to an end,” said McGowan who noted that after a struggling to keep their marriage in tact, it became apparent to him that it could not work. “I initiated our separation before the first of the year.”

Roestenburg declined to comment for this story and referred any future questions to his attorney on the separation proceedings he and McGowan are now involved in.

McGowan recognizes that he and Van Roestenburg were more visible and public than the majority of the same-sex couples wed that day but asked that “people have compassion for both of us right now and allow us to work through this in as private a manner as possible.”

Regardless of their own split, McGowan is still as committed to same-sex marriage equality as he was that fine February day in 2004. “Not all marriages survive the test of time. Whether they are heterosexual marriages or gay marriages,” he said. “Our divorce or any other gay couple’s divorce has no bearing on the larger issue of same-sex marriage equality. We are people just like anyone else and our relationships experience challenges just like anyone else’s. Marriage equality for gay couples is an important civil rights issue and one that should be brought to its right and just conclusion by being made the law of the land.”

For McGowan, the February 27^th marriages still hold a very special place in his memory and heart and hope for the future of the gay rights movement. “I am still honored to have been a part of that historic day, irrespective of our marriage ending,” he said. “I think we had then and still do now, a responsibility to the younger generation to set positive gay role models and to raise the bar. We need to move this and other issues forward so that we create a world where we draw talent in and give all people a level playing field. That’s what these marriages were about. It was about saying ‘listen, we are human beings who deserve equality and respect and we’re not going to stop until we get it!’”

McGowan credits his ex-partner with helping him to become a full person, a proud and vocal gay man, after many of years of having to hide his orientation in the DADT military. “Billiam was an advocate for same-sex marriage equality long before I was,” said McGowan. “I give him great credit for the work he has done on this issue, and I wish him nothing but happiness, fulfillment and great achievement in whatever he does.”

Both he and Van Roestenburg, went on to continue their public service by deciding to run for local office, McGowan for the supervisor’s position in Platekill, NY and Van Roestenburg for County Legislator. Although neither of them succeeded in winning against veteran Republican incumbents, McGowan felt that he owed more to his community, not just education and awareness of gay issues, but on the plethora of other issues facing small towns and the nation at large.

“I ran because I love my community and love the people in it,” said McGowan. “I’ve always believed in public service, that is why I spent as many years as I did in the Army. I think it’s also important that people understand that I or other gay people don’t view the world through just a prism of gay rights. I also care about every day issues like potholes, taxes, growth, open space preservation, the environment, and the overall quality of life in our community. I felt I was the best candidate…we have to stop pigeon holing people based on their color, religion, orientation, ethnicity, political party and allow them to contribute as whole people who have much to offer our society. We do not exist outside of the culture, we are all part of the culture.”

The District Attorney lent his compassion towards the couple as well. “Relationships ending is an unfortunate part of life, whether the couples are gay or heterosexual. I am truly sorry to hear of their separation.”

Blotcher, who is still happily married, added that “Gays and Lesbians do not profess to have better knowledge of marriages than anyone else. Nor should we be held to a higher standard. Because we are people with foibles and quirks just like our hetero counterparts. The people who said their ‘I Do’s’ before the world on February 27, 2004, were certainly courageous people, declaring their love in a society that still works hard to sabotage that love. But it’s hard to maintain the pressure of being a larger-than-life-symbol. In the two years since then, there have been a pair of couples who have broken up. This drives home the point that same-sex couples are truly just like hetero couples. Except that hetero couples, no matter how flawed their unions, have societal approval plus more than 1,000 legal rights to sweeten their bond. And gay people—except in Massachusetts—still do not.”

McGowan concurs. “One of the many benefits of having these laws, specifically designed to deal with property, custody of children, issues that often arise during a divorce, is that it protects both people. When you take that out, and there is a split, it complicates that matter even more. So we are not afforded the protections of marriage while together and we are denied them if the union comes to an end.”

The gay marriages in New Paltz not only spawned a groundswell of activity, world-wide press coverage and contentious law suits, but they also helped to galvanize the first ever Gay Pride March in New Paltz last year, on June 12^th, which brought more than 1,000 marchers and 30 civic, political, and academic groups marching under their own banners.

This year, organizers have begun planning much earlier and anticipate double the numbers of marchers and attendees to participate.

Last year’s march, co-founded by Denise Jelley and Corrine Lesko, life partners who decided to move to New Paltz from Long Island and raise their family after learning of the gay-marriages here, pulled together the March in eight weeks.

“The marriages conducted by Mayor Jason West tapped into a sense of gay pride and awareness that had lay dormant for years,” said Blotcher, a spokesperson for the New Paltz Pride March. “I mean that in the political sense. Because there was a social gay pride in this region for a long time, but it was only visible to other gay people. The marriages were a turning point. We had arrived at a place where we were not only demanding to be let alone and live in peace but we were finally demanding our equal rights like all other Americans.”

Blotcher is quick to point out that the planning committee specifically chose the word “march” and not “parade.”

“Marching is a political act and unfortunately in this climate, with Bush very vocal in denouncing same-sex marriage, we are marching in protest.”

The Second Annual Pride March and Festival is scheduled for Sunday, June 4^th.

Organizing Pride 2006 will be carried out in conjunction with the committee planning the establishment of the Hudson Valley LGBTQ Community Center. This, according to Blotcher was the brain-child of Virginia Apuzzo.

“It was Virginia who said, shortly after the march, that while it was a wonderful event, that we should keep the momentum going and create something that could be of lasting help to the LGBTQ community here in the Hudson Valley,” recalled Blotcher.

Virginia Apuzzo, who, among a long career of politics and activism was also the Associate Deputy Secretary of Labor in 1996 under President Bill Clinton and then was named Assistant to the President for Management and Administration.

“Taking part in organizing Pride 2006 and establishing the Community Center are a highlight of my life,” said Stone Ridge resident, Dr. Ted Hayes, 75, a former Southern Baptist minister. “When I was younger, I had to live a lie and hide who I was. It is gratifying to see the world move forward for all LGBTQ people who seek equality. There is still more to do, but our work here in the Hudson Valley is an important part of the progress.”

The group is actively looking for a community center and met with Kingston Mayor who pledged his support to their project.

People seeking more information on the Pride 2006 can visit their website at www.newpaltzpride.org or call 1-845-687-2284.

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