Is Climbing Like Sex?

by Susan E.B. Schwartz

Climbing is a favorite activity for many in New Paltz, as well as around the world. But so is sex. To some inquisitive minds, this raises an inevitable and eminently logical train of thought:  Coincidence? Or not?

What follows is a set of conclusions based on completely impartial scientific research conducted over many years:  Ten Ways Climbing Is Like Sex and Ten Ways It Isn’t.

Please note: The author maintains personal experience plays no role whatsoever in this type of high minded, socially responsible study.  That’s her story .  . . and she’s sticking to it.    
 
Ten Ways Climbing Is Like Sex
1.   You get to scale the heights.
2.   You can’t tell a guy by his rack.  (Note:  Holds true for women.)
3.  Technique goes a long way, but so too effort and enthusiasm.
4.   You can climb alone, but it’s more fun with a partner.
5.   Many talk more about it than actually do it.
6.   A good view is an added perk.
7.   Men would say it’s easier for women to find a climbing partner. But women would say it’s not so easy to find a great climbing partner.
8.   Good protection is key.  Otherwise you face long term consequences.
9.   It’s harder to find time after you have kids.
10.  You can study all the manuals in the world, but in the end, nothing beats hands on experience.
 
Ten Ways It Isn’t
1.   Harnesses and ropes do not fall under the category of personal taste.    
2.   You always have to be tied in.
3.    Someone always has to go first.
4.    You chalk up your hands.
5.    You can climb alone, but it’s not as safe.
6.    Exposure is a good thing.
7.    Old fogeys prefer outside.
8.    Video production values are better.
9.    The most critical technique? Footwork.  . . The most common exhortation to your partner?   Trust your feet.
10.  It’s sometimes scary. . . but dealing with fear is an integral part of the experience.  (Note:  Some might argue this belongs on the other list.  To each his own.)

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